20 Years of "F.R.I.E.N.D.S"

The TV show that shaped a generation.

Friends has long been an institution, a religion, a community. It has been a reason friendships and relationships flourish, or don't even get off the ground! I for one have been in situations with people I don't know where someone has quoted Friends and the ice breaks almost instantly. Friends was a totally acceptable reason to stay in on a Friday night and then have hours worth of conversation about it at school on Monday. 

For so many people, loving 'Friends' became part of your identity; your frame of reference for navigating life in general. It is still my go to if I'm sick, tired, low or anxious. It's a comfort blanket. When life can feel a bit overwhelming or chaotic, Friends represents stability, security and nostalgia because we feel so connected to its characters. It taught me a lot about life, love and friendships, about making mistakes and how to resolve them, about set backs and perseverance, but most significantly, about the diversity of people. I watched how individual personalities added such tremendous value to each other's lives; their drives, their coping mechanisms, their eccentricities, their behaviours and their humour; with no-one being deemed 'better or worse' than anyone else.

The show became all-encompasing; leading to hairdressers all over the world having to master 'the Rachel,' DJ's at any and all functions and events being required to play 'I'll be there for you' at least twice (incase anyone missed the first time), totally made-up words working their way in to conversation without having to explain their definition, 'floopy' 'moo point' transponsder'

I was too young to start Friends at season one, but I still remember my first episode: "The one with the jellyfish," (S4, E1). For me, thinking of that episode is like when you hear about something momentous happening somewhere in the world. You can remember every detail of that time and place and recall exactly where you were in that moment. As I was growing up, Joey and Phoebe were my favourite, mainly because I understood most of their jokes. The others were, at times, a bit beyond my realm of knowledge: "Seven, seven, seven, seven, seven!" I loved Rachel because she was everything I wished that I could be; beautiful, fashionable, popular, American, (admittedly not a lot I could do about that last one); but secretly I resented her for it because I just wasn't any of those things. I thought Monica and Ross were incredibly boring, although I soon learnt that was an error in judgement as they were responsible for some of my favourite moments, including; "the routine," "the Gellar cup," and the episodes featuring some of the best scenes from the show, including: "Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing, Monica did ... Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year!" "Ah Unagi," "Pivot!" and "FRONT AND BACK!"

Like Friends in general, Chandler Bing grew with me; the older I got, the more I understood his humour and his jokes, and the more I loved him. He is still my favourite character and is responsible for some of my absolute favourite quotes of all time:

• "Shut up, shut up, shut uuuup!"

  
  

• "This parachute is a knapsack!"

  
  

• "No you didn't get me. That's an electric drill. You get me you kill me!"

  
  

• "Gum would be perfection."

  
  

• "The cushions are the essence of the chair!"

Once in a while a celebrity death shakes a generation. Matthew Perry is one of those celebrities. It feels weird to say you're affected by the death of someone you've never met, (especially when you're heartbroken for a character as well as a human), but I think that is his overwhelming achievement and success as an actor. 

Reading his memoir earlier in the year brought addiction and mental health once again to the forefront of discussion; particularly for men. It was so painfully raw and brutally honest. For the first time I truly appreciated the man, not the character. The irony is not lost on me that someone who could drastically lift my mood and make me laugh until I cried, was at times struggling so much just to be happy. He highlighted that pain doesn't discriminate between famous and non-famous; if anything, the "I'm fine" mask is probably tougher to wear when the world scrutinises your every move. Wealth and fame can bring wonderful privileges, but they mean absolutely nothing when your mind is feeding your isolation and loneliness. 

I have nothing but love and appreciation for F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Did it give me a misguided view of what adulthood would be like? Of course! When I moved in to my first apartment and my neighbour opposite did not become my bestie I was devastated, no one ever seemed to let themselves in to my house and just chill on the sofa after work, and the worst thing was finding out that life was far more work and a lot less coffee (or tea if you're loyal to the British cliche).