Mental health is a vital part of our lives, particularly our well-being, and yet it remains a taboo subject for so many. Why is it that we struggle to talk about something so essential?
I don't ask how you are because I hope you'll just reply with "I'm fine."
I don't offer to listen if you want to talk just to be polite when really I'm not interested.
I don't want to help just so you'll 'stop moaning' or 'get over it' quicker.
I don't give you my time so I'll have leverage over you because you may have a weakness.
I don't hope to hear you're ok just so we don't have to talk about it.
I'm not thinking that what you're going through is funny, and I will never, ever make you feel small for feeling the way you do.
If I say you can talk to me without judgement, I mean it. If I say I have the time for you, I mean it. If I say I'm happy to listen if that's what you need, then I mean it. Above anything else, if I say I care, I mean it.
External factors can shape our behaviours in ways we might not even realise; the people we surround ourselves with can influence our self-worth, and challenging life events can stir up emotions we often struggle to process or understand. It is so important to recognise that mental health isn’t just in the mind—it often manifests physically. Whether it’s a feeling of things being out of control that presents itself as an eating disorder, or grief that disguises itself as chronic pain, our bodies often reflect what words can't express. So just take a moment to reflect on the importance of positive human interaction and mental health awareness. For some of us, it can be a battle every single day just to get up and put one foot in front of the other. Even though we don't always realise it, show it, or understand it, because mental health is so deeply connected to our physical well-being; influencing both how we think and how we experience life each day; we most certainly can feel it.
It’s crucial to acknowledge these feelings, even when they seem overwhelming, and it's okay to seek support and take time to process how you feel. We may not have the same experiences, but we are all navigating this journey of life together. Understanding what mental health means, challenging misconceptions, and knowing how to support one another is key. These conversations are frequently brushed aside, so be the person who normalises discussing mental health and emotional struggles; because breaking the silence is a reminder that what we all have in common is how deeply the mind and body are connected. All too often we hear after the fact from family, friends or colleagues that they didn't want to burden anyone else, they didn't want to make anyone worry, they didn't want to "drag anyone else down" or they thought people would just think they need to "man up." I can't pretend I haven't done this myself so I know full well it's easier said than done. I've always tried to be the happy one, the one available at any time to be there for a friend, even if that comes at a personal price. I've always tried to be the one who internalises pain and sadness to avoid conflict, or to prevent anyone else being unhappy - the logic being that if I'm already sad, I may as well add to it and protect someone else from feeling that way. I've always tried to be the one who keeps my own feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness way below the surface; the one who seemingly has no problems. But it's exhausting.
Unfortunately, however professional someone may be at hiding it, it's virtually impossible to keep the charade up all the time, so it's important to make yourself familiar with the more subtle signs that you might notice in other people. For example, the biggest tell for me to recognise that there could be a problem is their attempt to smile when they catch someones eye. It's often an exhausted 'half smile,' that their eyes can't match. I know that smile. I've given other people that smile, and I feel the pain that smile can be masking. I have also assumed I'm doing the best for the people I love by not sharing how I really feel, but what I can say from experience, is that by assuming you know what someone else is thinking, you could be cutting yourself off from the very support network that can help you.
For many, asking for help is a barrier due to feelings of shame, or for fear of appearing weak. Be someone people can trust and talk to without fear of judgement. Others don’t want to burden their loved ones, and some might not even recognise changes within themselves; so, be a friend, relative, neighbour, or colleague who checks in, listens, and most importantly, asks, “How are you, really?” Sometimes the kindest people will listen and support you, but won't tell you that they're hurting, or that they have nothing more to give. Unless you check in, you may never know that they need you as much as you've need them; no matter how strong any of us are, we all need to know that we have someone too.
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